I appear to have taken on way too much this year. Turns out I haven’t read hardly any blogs since mid January (took me all day today to catch up on a months worth!) and, worst yet, I have only written 4 myself (and they were mostly in the same week). The next few will be catch-ups so I apologise in advance if I bore you.
January was the hottest it has ever been in little ole NZ. We have spent a lot of time swimming in the ocean and outdoors. Turns out the sea hates me and keeps throwing its creatures at me.
First proof: I had a 20 cm Kahawai swim past me in a wave. I ~excuse my language~ shat and left the ocean.
Second proof: Day after fishy surprise we are swimming away and a Shag popped up right beside me, looked at me, opened it’s mouth and went BEGARK very loudly. I shat and left the ocean.
Third proof: Day after feathered surprise we are swimming away and my hand starts to sting. Lift it out of the water and find Blue Bottle (Portuguese man o’ war) jellyfish tendrils attached. Thank god it was missing the rest of the jellyfish. I shat and left the ocean to go home and hop about in itchy screechy pain for several hours. FYI if are ever in this position just go stand in a hot shower. Its the only thing that helps.
Fourth proof: Back in the water swimming away and nothing bad happens YAY then we get home to find I am COVERED in bites and have been attached by the Mount Mauler http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11776504 FYI: NOTHING helps for these. You just scratch, put non working lotions and potions on hoping that layering may have an effect and await the end of the itch, approximately 3 days. Doesn’t sound too bad does it, 3 days? I had over 50 of the bites and turns out sweat from incredibly humid nights does not diminish itch. I was rather a Crabby Pattie by day 2. You don’t want to know about day 3.
Fifth proof: Turns out Jellyfish stings are the gift that keeps on giving. 2 weeks after initial sting it flared up an itch lumpy weird mess. Who knew that was a thing
When an itchy rash occurs several days to weeks after a sting, the rash may mean a delayed skin reaction has occurred. A delayed reaction can occur many times over the course of 1 to 2 months following a sting. You may have a fever, weakness, or joint stiffness or swelling. Medical treatment may ease the discomfort and prevent complications from a delayed reaction. https://www.webmd.com/first-aid/tc/jellyfish-sting-home-treatment-topic-overview
Sixth proof: Swimming away and I look down into the beautiful clear water to see a large crab with his nippers raised staring back at me.
I shat and left the ocean.
Ka Kete Ano xx